Tag Archives: absurdity

excuse me, I’m not wimpy.

This Sports Illustrated article (“Wimpiest/most bizarre team names”) reinforces traditional standards of masculinity:

Dude, really? Wimpy team names and you leave out the NYU Violets? They have a hockey team…a HOCKEY team called the “Violets”. That ranks up there with the Peoria “Prancers.”
Jarod, Elmhurst, Ill.

Violet: a color. Also a name for girls. Also associated with “purple,” both colors considered “gay.” To prance, from Merriam-Webster: to spring from the hind legs or move by so doing; to ride on a prancing horse; to walk or move in a spirited manner. Or prance from Urban Dictionary:

Translation: Homosexuality is wimpy.

Allisonville High School Alices and the Frankfort High School Hot Dogs.
Travis Allen, Valparaiso, Ind.

Alice: another girl name. Same as Violet, above.

Translation: Girls are wimpy.

When Troy Aikman played high school football in Henryetta, Okla., the team name was the Hens. In the late ’80’s a woman I knew from there was part of a local group that finally got the school board to to change the name to something (anything!) else. So the team became the Knights. And opposing fans quit wearing Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets on their heads at games.
Richard Williams, Nashville, Tenn.

Hen: a female chicken. Also, slang for a human woman.

Translation: women are wimpy.

Wimpy team names: Columbia, Mo., Hickman High School Kewpies (a baby doll).
Charlie, Jeff City, Mo.

As far as wimpy high school names go, the worst has to be David H. Hickman High School in Columbia, Mo., whose nickname is the Kewpies (like the kewpie doll). Even worse, I seem to remember the colors of the pressbox at the stadium being yellow and lavender. I’ve got to believe every pregame pep talk by an opposing coach involved something along the lines of “No WAY we’re losing to a bunch of Kewpies!”
Jeff Lewis, Greensboro, N.C.

The Kewpies may have it worse of all. SI included a remarkable five quotes about this Midwestern school, including one that was not originally bolded in the article (is SI trying to say something?) like all the other quotes were. Let’s examine the bias against the Kewpies.

Kewpie dolls were (according to Wikipedia) “illustrations by Rose O’Neill that appeared in Ladies’ Home Journal in 1909.” Dolls can be safely filed under “girls only toys.” “Lavender,” supposedly one of the school colors (actually purple) is even more associated with homosexuality than either purple or violet.

Translation: anything girly in tandem with males must turn males gay/effeminate/girly. Girly = bad. (I guess they’ve forgotten that girls play sports too.)

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it’s “it’s,” not “its”

sorry, Google:

Although as a reflection of society – more people must enter in “its” to cause Google to attempt to fix my “it’s” – I’m not sure whether this indicates that Google users have bad grammar or whether Google users are just extraordinarily lazy and don’t want to type that extra apostrophe. Probably both.

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not a good way to pick up girls.

Katherine Zoepf has been doing a NYTimes blog series on dating in Saudi Arabia. Her latest entry is about numbering – when Saudi boys drive in cars alongside the cars of Saudi girls and wave their phone numbers on cardboard and send Bluetooth messages, hoping to get some reply.

But I want to draw attention to this portion of the post:

I looked around. We were surrounded by several other cars, all containing young men and all trying to get the attention of the figures in the GMC, while simultaneously trying to edge each other off the road at high speed.

“Isn’t this getting a bit dangerous?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Fahad. “Sometimes the girls get really scared, there are so many cars chasing them. Sometimes they’re in their car, crying and screaming for us to go away. It’s fun to make girls angry.”

Just in the sentence before, Fahad admits that the girls “get really scared,” but then he dismisses their genuine fear as getting “angry” and says that “it’s fun.” I’m sorry – can he repeat that again? “Crying and screaming” equates fun? I’m charmed.

This eerily parallels claims in the U.S. of harmless, fun, but ultimately very hurtful jokes. For instance, that rape jokes are funny. Or that fun can never hurt people.

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error: no access because high school students can’t learn about evolution, or they might get bad thoughts.

I was reading Pharyngula while I had some down time in school today. I tried clicking on this link, only to discover:

Basically Sarkar’s piece is a level-headed refute of attacks on evolution (Expelled). A quick look through the comments didn’t reveal anything hugely inflammatory. So why the block? Oh, that’s right. We’re corrupting our children through scientific thought. Gee. Evolution = “Political Extreme/Hate/Discrimination.” Not like, the KKK or anything (all last year, the KKK website was left unblocked, and also for the vast majority of this school year, as well).

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“That’s two answers!”

Today, at Quiz Bowl Districts:

“Find the y-intercept of the equation x^2 + 5x -15 = 0

Teammate buzzed in, is acknowledged: “(0, -15)”

“Incorrect.”

Other team guessed wrong.

“The correct answer was negative 15.”

Obviously the team challenged the answer. The y-intercept of an equation is a point. A point can be expressed in coordinate form. The moderator was confused. She handed the answer guide over to the scorekeeper, who said:

“Oh, it’s been a while since I’ve done this [math]! Wait, but you guys said 0, -15. That’s two answers!”

We got our 5 points in the end, but not after a lot of convincing the moderator and the scorekeeper that “(0, -15)” and “the y-intercept is -15” is the same thing.

Even if it’d been a long time since they’d taken math, coordinate form shouldn’t be something that can be forgotten. I don’t know. But it’s not like points aren’t used in “real-world applications,” either. For instance, looking at and reading maps takes some knowledge of finding specific points.

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I hate days like today.

Blatant racism, immaturity, physical harassment, annoyance, further disturbance of my already-damaged ears. Oh, the joys of public education. Wait, and I thought I was in a good school system? This city/town is nationally ranked for a good education system, and the school has repeatedly won national awards and has an obscene number of Presidential Scholars. And good girls don’t get physically harassed, of course. I must have been asking for it. I’m just “acting the victim.” Oh, and nevermind that it wasn’t a guy, or several guys, who were bothering me. Girl on girl hate crime. How silly. Those women can’t even band together. Who can expect them to possibly fight the patriarchy?

Basically, I got my head and hair knocked around for 50 straight minutes. (A white teddy bear was involved.) It was very aggravating, as you can expect. I was too PC and afraid to call them out because of their sex and their race. Too pacifist to stir up more of a fight. It was a public space, after all, and I didn’t want to create more disturbance.

As a result, I was crabby. It was almost like I had PMS, except I don’t ever get PMS, or cramps. Those damn emotions that women have. I must have been swayed by them, because women can’t think straight and make rational decisions. </sarcasm>

Anyway, some examples of sexism from today:

  1. Hillary Clinton sexism: During the Quiz Bowl assembly, the two teams were asked, “Who are the four remaining leading presidential candidates and what states are each of them affiliated with?” The losing team didn’t know where Mike Huckabee hailed from (the question was written way before last night’s results) and the winning team answered, “Barack Obama, Illinois; Hillary, New York; John McCain, Arizona; Mike Huckabee, Arkansas.” First name basis with Hillary, now, I see. Where’s the respect?
  2. Presenting misogyny as a joke: During the same assembly, the two male MC’s joke about ignoring women when they speak. They improvise a scene with the two guys talking about baseball and the female MC is trying to get in a word. Finally, she throws up her hands and declares, “Guys never listen to girls!” The two guys laugh. A lot of people in the audience laugh. It’s ok if nobody listens to girls and women, this laughter says, it happens all the time. Live with it. Your opinions aren’t worth listening to, during baseball season. The two guys even said, “Just wait a couple more weeks!” Until season is over, of course. Baseball > women.
  3. Girls suck at anything sports-related: The dancing from clips of the school musical (Damn Yankees, whose Wikipedia poster is another objectification of women) showed the manly boys swinging their baseball bats with vigor and heart and the women hopelessly muddling it up. In fact, their weak arms swing the bat in tiny, wavering circles, and they have to hand it off to their men. Girls suck at sports, anyway, this dancing declares. They have to stand in the bleachers.
  4. “Shut the fuck up, bitch,” addressed to a guy: Feminization of men is still the best insult these days. Sissy, pussy, you cry like a girl. (What’s up with crying? As a man, you can’t do it. As a woman, you are frigid and inhumane and not womanly if you don’t, yet too emotionally and not level-headed if you do.) This happens because women are seen as weaker, not just physically, but mentally, socially, economically, and in terms of humanness.

Are some of these sexist events unavoidable? Perhaps. Do their existence promote and reinforce stereotypes? Yes. And if you want to eradicate those stereotypes, these things need to stop.

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Ridiculousness? You bet.

[Edit] <start sarcasm> Or, Free Speech: It Really Sucks. [/edit]

“That’s ridiculous,” I turned away from my computer screen, lips curled in a sure-to-be-disgusting snarl. Like so many Americans, I depend on my computer to escape from every day worries. Too much homework? No problem, I’ll just go surf through some blogs to take my mind off of impending doom, and when I’m sufficiently ready to tackle on the latest homework assignment, I close the browser window. At least, I minimize it. However, today, I’d caught hold of yet another “angry” blog, Angry Asian Man (AAM), pushing a false example of oppression into my face. The man was expressing anger over a poster that said, “Come Get Slant Eyed @ The Goat (No Offense)”. Can’t he see the “No Offense”? Obviously it’s not racist if it wasn’t meant to be racist.Anyway, isn’t there something more important AAM should be doing? Like telling the Chinese government to stop using so many children in their dirt-cheap factories and then sending the kids over to the U.S. to be adopted. The irresponsible Chinese are causing the U.S. to get poorer because Americans are trying to support the adopted Chinese kids. Outsourcing can probably also be traced back to these shifty adoptions. Hell, even global warming is China’s fault, if you think about it. Anyway, honestly, even if the man is just showing how racism is prevalent in glorious American society, thus convincing me to help stop this racism, he forgot the glorious part of glorious American society. The U.S. is the most powerful country in the world. Nothing could possibly be wrong in such a glorious country, and so there’s no need for blogs and other mediums to express anger over imaginary offenses.

Who is Angry Asian Man, anyway? Does he have a college degree in racism? In the “About Angry” part of his website, he doesn’t even state his real name. How do I know this guy is to be trusted? Apparently AAM is hugely influential in the Asian blogosphere. What dopes, those Asians, blindly following some random guy who probably lives on the streets. It doesn’t matter if he reaches a larger audience than just the Asian population, on account of the Internet being free and all that jazz, or even if he points out real cases of racism on a national scale – Americans aren’t racist anyway. If AAM just ignored racism, it’d go away.

Seriously, this identity problem is huge. Random people with no credentials can get on national T.V. and say whatever they want. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have no political experience whatsoever, yet millions of people pay, (pay!) to see their late-night shows. Their careless jokes will destroy the foundation of society with their pretentiousness. People say they know that those Comedy Central shows are satiric and ironic, but do they really? They’ve already followed AAM. I can’t count on normal people to differentiate between the real and the false to show the hypocrisy and frivolity of the world.

Furthermore, does anyone remember Wonkette and Washingtonienne? Washingtonienne was a completely anonymous lady involved in politics at Capitol Hill who exposed the lurid sex lives of politicians. Or a politician, it doesn’t matter. She posted too many incriminating details on her blog, and then Wonkette picked up her story, and the whole thing was blown into smithereens and chaos, which is what happens when anyone can say anything they want. Oh, never mind that Washingtonienne was correct and also exposed political hypocrisy to the public eye. All the T.V. stations and radio shows picked up on the story, bombarding me with ceaseless messages of D.C. sex and politics. I’d rather live with dis-honesty and deception than face such shameless displays of obscenity. Oh yeah, and they revealed Washingtonienne’s real name for the sucker she is.

Speaking of irresponsible individuals, Don Imus truly exemplifies the harm in individual free speech. His “nappy-headed hos” comment was the deranged thinking of one sexist, racist individual (he didn’t say “No Offense” after “hos”, so it’s offensive). His attitude, obviously not reflected by American society on a whole, nevertheless will surely be adopted by the listeners of his radio show, and then passed onto their neighbors, and the neighbors of the neighbors, and ignorant blog readers, and stupid, mindless T.V. show listeners, and so on and so forth. Thus, Imus will transform Americans into bigots, because we weren’t racist and sexist in the first place. And all that media uproar following his comment? No matter that the media tried to bring focus to and address those grievances, because, as I said earlier, the U.S. was a glorious society and didn’t need fixing before Don Imus came onto the scene.

There is so much useless and harmful drivel on the airwaves, whether it’s transmitting via wireless to my computer or through the air to my T.V. or my car radio, as seen with AAM, Stewart and Colbert, Washingtonienne, Don Imus and the gaggle of media. One last example. Just look at the nonsense the Bilerico Project, a major political LGBTQ blog, spews out. “Why Are So Many Gay Guys So Mean?” Because they read blogs, clearly. This is even sillier than AAM and “Slant Eyed.” Maybe AAM needs to get surgery to remove his epicanthal fold. Then he wouldn’t be slant eyed anymore and would be able to see past his foolishness. He’d be able to ignore the little details that make up his life and form the cage of his “oppression” (because racism doesn’t really exist, remember?). In order to return American society to its original glory, we need to band together and take away the “right” of every individual to speak freely, because it is utterly and totally annihilating our values. Long live freedom and equality!

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Filed under mundane life, racism