Tag Archives: school

birthday.

Hi everyone. This date on the calendar says that I am officially another year closer to my death year. Let’s just hope it’s somewhere off in the future.

Here are my goals for the year, taken off an AP Lit assignment:
1. Listen to a wider variety of music, especially concerning classic rock and opera
2. Read at least 1000 pages of paper-published books each month
3. Regularly practice piano and violin. Do not wait for the day before lessons
4. Do not drop drawing and painting. Make daily entries in the sketchbook
5. Maintain a 4.0
6. Do not crash the car
7. Do not pull an all-nighter
8. When full, do not eat any more
9. Do homework as soon as possible, and read textbook chapters sooner than two days before the test
10. Watch all 5 seasons of The Wire
11. Do not get angry at the kids at the Kumon Center when they do not get how to divide fractions even after having been explained to uncountable times
12. Think positively about college admissions. Do not stress out too much
13. Try every flavor of ice cream at Cold Stone
14. Sell unwanted clothes and books
15. Do not spend all earned money on clothes and books, even if thrifted and used
16. Appreciate the town
17. Be happy!! Life is beautiful and there are beautiful things all around

and
18. Cherish all current friends and future friends

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I hate days like today.

Blatant racism, immaturity, physical harassment, annoyance, further disturbance of my already-damaged ears. Oh, the joys of public education. Wait, and I thought I was in a good school system? This city/town is nationally ranked for a good education system, and the school has repeatedly won national awards and has an obscene number of Presidential Scholars. And good girls don’t get physically harassed, of course. I must have been asking for it. I’m just “acting the victim.” Oh, and nevermind that it wasn’t a guy, or several guys, who were bothering me. Girl on girl hate crime. How silly. Those women can’t even band together. Who can expect them to possibly fight the patriarchy?

Basically, I got my head and hair knocked around for 50 straight minutes. (A white teddy bear was involved.) It was very aggravating, as you can expect. I was too PC and afraid to call them out because of their sex and their race. Too pacifist to stir up more of a fight. It was a public space, after all, and I didn’t want to create more disturbance.

As a result, I was crabby. It was almost like I had PMS, except I don’t ever get PMS, or cramps. Those damn emotions that women have. I must have been swayed by them, because women can’t think straight and make rational decisions. </sarcasm>

Anyway, some examples of sexism from today:

  1. Hillary Clinton sexism: During the Quiz Bowl assembly, the two teams were asked, “Who are the four remaining leading presidential candidates and what states are each of them affiliated with?” The losing team didn’t know where Mike Huckabee hailed from (the question was written way before last night’s results) and the winning team answered, “Barack Obama, Illinois; Hillary, New York; John McCain, Arizona; Mike Huckabee, Arkansas.” First name basis with Hillary, now, I see. Where’s the respect?
  2. Presenting misogyny as a joke: During the same assembly, the two male MC’s joke about ignoring women when they speak. They improvise a scene with the two guys talking about baseball and the female MC is trying to get in a word. Finally, she throws up her hands and declares, “Guys never listen to girls!” The two guys laugh. A lot of people in the audience laugh. It’s ok if nobody listens to girls and women, this laughter says, it happens all the time. Live with it. Your opinions aren’t worth listening to, during baseball season. The two guys even said, “Just wait a couple more weeks!” Until season is over, of course. Baseball > women.
  3. Girls suck at anything sports-related: The dancing from clips of the school musical (Damn Yankees, whose Wikipedia poster is another objectification of women) showed the manly boys swinging their baseball bats with vigor and heart and the women hopelessly muddling it up. In fact, their weak arms swing the bat in tiny, wavering circles, and they have to hand it off to their men. Girls suck at sports, anyway, this dancing declares. They have to stand in the bleachers.
  4. “Shut the fuck up, bitch,” addressed to a guy: Feminization of men is still the best insult these days. Sissy, pussy, you cry like a girl. (What’s up with crying? As a man, you can’t do it. As a woman, you are frigid and inhumane and not womanly if you don’t, yet too emotionally and not level-headed if you do.) This happens because women are seen as weaker, not just physically, but mentally, socially, economically, and in terms of humanness.

Are some of these sexist events unavoidable? Perhaps. Do their existence promote and reinforce stereotypes? Yes. And if you want to eradicate those stereotypes, these things need to stop.

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Ridiculousness? You bet.

[Edit] <start sarcasm> Or, Free Speech: It Really Sucks. [/edit]

“That’s ridiculous,” I turned away from my computer screen, lips curled in a sure-to-be-disgusting snarl. Like so many Americans, I depend on my computer to escape from every day worries. Too much homework? No problem, I’ll just go surf through some blogs to take my mind off of impending doom, and when I’m sufficiently ready to tackle on the latest homework assignment, I close the browser window. At least, I minimize it. However, today, I’d caught hold of yet another “angry” blog, Angry Asian Man (AAM), pushing a false example of oppression into my face. The man was expressing anger over a poster that said, “Come Get Slant Eyed @ The Goat (No Offense)”. Can’t he see the “No Offense”? Obviously it’s not racist if it wasn’t meant to be racist.Anyway, isn’t there something more important AAM should be doing? Like telling the Chinese government to stop using so many children in their dirt-cheap factories and then sending the kids over to the U.S. to be adopted. The irresponsible Chinese are causing the U.S. to get poorer because Americans are trying to support the adopted Chinese kids. Outsourcing can probably also be traced back to these shifty adoptions. Hell, even global warming is China’s fault, if you think about it. Anyway, honestly, even if the man is just showing how racism is prevalent in glorious American society, thus convincing me to help stop this racism, he forgot the glorious part of glorious American society. The U.S. is the most powerful country in the world. Nothing could possibly be wrong in such a glorious country, and so there’s no need for blogs and other mediums to express anger over imaginary offenses.

Who is Angry Asian Man, anyway? Does he have a college degree in racism? In the “About Angry” part of his website, he doesn’t even state his real name. How do I know this guy is to be trusted? Apparently AAM is hugely influential in the Asian blogosphere. What dopes, those Asians, blindly following some random guy who probably lives on the streets. It doesn’t matter if he reaches a larger audience than just the Asian population, on account of the Internet being free and all that jazz, or even if he points out real cases of racism on a national scale – Americans aren’t racist anyway. If AAM just ignored racism, it’d go away.

Seriously, this identity problem is huge. Random people with no credentials can get on national T.V. and say whatever they want. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have no political experience whatsoever, yet millions of people pay, (pay!) to see their late-night shows. Their careless jokes will destroy the foundation of society with their pretentiousness. People say they know that those Comedy Central shows are satiric and ironic, but do they really? They’ve already followed AAM. I can’t count on normal people to differentiate between the real and the false to show the hypocrisy and frivolity of the world.

Furthermore, does anyone remember Wonkette and Washingtonienne? Washingtonienne was a completely anonymous lady involved in politics at Capitol Hill who exposed the lurid sex lives of politicians. Or a politician, it doesn’t matter. She posted too many incriminating details on her blog, and then Wonkette picked up her story, and the whole thing was blown into smithereens and chaos, which is what happens when anyone can say anything they want. Oh, never mind that Washingtonienne was correct and also exposed political hypocrisy to the public eye. All the T.V. stations and radio shows picked up on the story, bombarding me with ceaseless messages of D.C. sex and politics. I’d rather live with dis-honesty and deception than face such shameless displays of obscenity. Oh yeah, and they revealed Washingtonienne’s real name for the sucker she is.

Speaking of irresponsible individuals, Don Imus truly exemplifies the harm in individual free speech. His “nappy-headed hos” comment was the deranged thinking of one sexist, racist individual (he didn’t say “No Offense” after “hos”, so it’s offensive). His attitude, obviously not reflected by American society on a whole, nevertheless will surely be adopted by the listeners of his radio show, and then passed onto their neighbors, and the neighbors of the neighbors, and ignorant blog readers, and stupid, mindless T.V. show listeners, and so on and so forth. Thus, Imus will transform Americans into bigots, because we weren’t racist and sexist in the first place. And all that media uproar following his comment? No matter that the media tried to bring focus to and address those grievances, because, as I said earlier, the U.S. was a glorious society and didn’t need fixing before Don Imus came onto the scene.

There is so much useless and harmful drivel on the airwaves, whether it’s transmitting via wireless to my computer or through the air to my T.V. or my car radio, as seen with AAM, Stewart and Colbert, Washingtonienne, Don Imus and the gaggle of media. One last example. Just look at the nonsense the Bilerico Project, a major political LGBTQ blog, spews out. “Why Are So Many Gay Guys So Mean?” Because they read blogs, clearly. This is even sillier than AAM and “Slant Eyed.” Maybe AAM needs to get surgery to remove his epicanthal fold. Then he wouldn’t be slant eyed anymore and would be able to see past his foolishness. He’d be able to ignore the little details that make up his life and form the cage of his “oppression” (because racism doesn’t really exist, remember?). In order to return American society to its original glory, we need to band together and take away the “right” of every individual to speak freely, because it is utterly and totally annihilating our values. Long live freedom and equality!

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Filed under mundane life, racism

how I won a dollar.

A couple days ago, I got back a math quiz. I’d taken it later than the rest of the class because I’d been out of town when they took it. Another boy, D., had also taken the quiz after the rest of the class, so we got our quizzes back at the same time.

“Man, I did so horribly on this test,” he confided.

“Yeah, me too,” I replied, which was the truth. I could not remember the shell method of volume integration during the quiz, and of course there was a problem that required dear old shell.

“Well, I bet I did worse than you,” he shot back. I raised my eyebrows.

“No way.”

And as we started arguing over who had the worse grade, I couldn’t help but think, why am I arguing over who is the more mediocre? I dislike people who hide their own intelligence, but here I was, doing the same. I could have said, No, D., you’re really smart. I’m sure your grade is fine, instead of engaging in this silly argument.

At any case, he finally ended our discussion. “Hey, let’s bet a dollar. Whoever has the worse grade gets it.”

“Sure,” I agreed.

Obviously, I did worse on the test. And because of my mundaneness, my lack of math smarts, I got a dollar. In America, being the same, not being exceptional pays off.

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“this is easy” vs “whoa, that’s hard.”

I had private French lessons today. (If you’re wondering – I take private lessons to supplement French class at my school, because the foreign language department is lacking.) Mme, my teacher, is one of my all-time favorite teachers. She’s so energetic and exuberant and very passionate about French and linguistics. Mme pays a lot of attention to her students. I can ask her a question, and she knows most of the answers off the top of her head. However, if, by chance, we stumble across some problem that we cannot figure out, she always looks it up for me and gives me the answer next lesson. Sometimes, she even makes flashcards for me, with the answers to the questions. But all that takes a backseat to her attitude, my favorite part of Mme. “French is easy!” she always proclaims. “Le subjonctif? Pas problème. Voyez…”

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in French class today:

We were “practicing” want to and ought to. I’ll leave my useless busywork talk for another day. But each group had to present their own examples. One group, of all girls, said, “I want to get married, but I should ask permission from my parents first.”

Well, I wanted to say, dears, you don’t have to get permission from your parents to get married (the girls cleared up that the person in question was over the age of majority). That just reinforces the patriarchy. Gender roles, and all that jazz. ‘Cause, of course, girls can’t decide for themselves whether they can marry a man or not. (Although it is always good to ask for advice. Is this person worth marrying? But, can I marry this person? Is unacceptable and totally unnecessary, in my opinion.)

Which brings me to the curious institution of marriage itself. I don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage. Marriages never used to be about love, anyway, no matter how they’re currently seen. As for love – I believe in the value of loving someone and that person loving me back. I don’t need a societally defined institution to reaffirm my love or my ties. In fact, I think marriages are very binding. And they carry so many connotations of the patriarchy that I hesitate when even thinking about marriage for myself, as an expression of love.

Now, I will probably end up getting married. Because couples living together in the US don’t have any rights worth squat unless they are married. Hospital visitations, rights to pensions, etc. But this is precisely why I don’t like it. It’s such a governmentally defined institution. Here, here is a space for his name and for her name, and please, check the box if she wants to change her last name. Because, when a woman gets married, she gives her identity away and takes on the name of her husband. Willingly. Absolutely and for ever, because she is one of his prized possessions [tic]. Oh, and all the religious affiliations it has. Well, even though people were getting married before Christianity, it has been so warped in the US. Weddings take place in churches, after all. But I don’t need the government or a religion to tell me I want to stay with a person, live with him, be a part of his life.

I just need to come to terms with it myself. And then we will be lovers, because we are in love.

As for marriage saving love – if I don’t love him enough to try to reconcile any differences and compromise sans marriage, then marriage isn’t going to help. It’s a man-made construct. Bound together in the face of law and society. Since when was love about what other people thought?

I think human will is beautiful. And love is just another facet of it. Why use a rigid label to define it? (Marriage marriage, oh marriage. Everyone wants a part of you, but perhaps it would be better if we got rid of you altogether.)

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marriage.

Don’t worry, I’m not about to get married, yet. 😉 But a little thought on proposing, and who gets to do it.

My orchestra conductor recently got engaged. She has a humongous ring. When I say “humongous,” I mean, fucking gorgeous. Her fiancé really spent some time picking out a ring, and he did a magnificent job. (I have respect for that man. At least for ring-picking.)

However, she’d been griping for ages because he hadn’t yet proposed to her. They had dated for 1 year and 8 months. On the day he finally did, she missed teaching because they went on a trip to a local tourist town. In class the day before, she’d crossed her fingers and addressed the class, “Maybe he’ll finally do it this time!”

You can probably tell where I’m going. Why didn’t she propose to him, if she was so sure they were going to get married? Perhaps she’s conservative and traditional? Not totally. She told the class a conversation they’d had. “Did you ask my parents for permission?” She’d asked him. “Nope,” he had apparently replied. “I was so glad!” She bubbled. “That’s such an outdated tradition! Women can do things on their own now.”

But not everything, it seems.

Which made me think. Would I be willing to ask a guy to marry me? It was painful to discover that, yes, I am reluctant to turn a tradition the other way around. It is so romantic for a guy to get on one knee and propose. At least, in my perspective. I wonder what guys think about it.

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